I Remember You
by forgotten-serenity
Summary: Casey yells something at Olivia that devistates her. When Casey can't fix it, she calls the one person she knows who can. Takes place in the middle of "Blinded"
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing but the idea.

_Italics are thoughts_

Inspired by I Remember You by Skid Row.

* * *

"How could you go over my head!" Casey yelled. This case had been hard on them all, especially Casey, and Olivia was the only person who knew the reason why.

"Elliot is in the hospital!" Olivia yelled back, seething. Olivia turned around and muttered, "This wouldn't have happened if Alex was here."

"What?!" Casey's eyes widened, not believing what she just heard.

Olivia whirled back around, "I said this wouldn't have happened if Alex were here!"

Casey was momentarily shocked. She had become close friends with Olivia and always knew that there was something between Olivia and Alex and that Alex meant a lot to the rest of the squad, but she never thought Olivia would throw Alex in her face. Casey was hurt and she wanted to lash out. Olivia seemed like a convenient and appropriate target.

"New flash Liv!" Casey screamed, "Alex has been back for almost six months! Have you heard from her?! No!"

Olivia literally felt Casey's words hit her. _Alex is back?_ She staggered backwards, stunned.

Casey immediately knew what she'd done and regretted it instantly. "Liv…I…"

Olivia had to get out. She couldn't breathe. _Alex is back._ She turned on her heel and ran out the door.

"Liv!" Casey called, but Olivia wouldn't stop, "Liv! I didn't mean…" Olivia rounded the corner out of Casey's sight. Casey slammed the door to her office, "Damn it!" Casey picked up the nearest thing on her desk and hurled it against the wall. The glass of the lamp and the light bulb shattered against the wall. "Damn it."

Olivia mouth went dry as she stumbled out of the DA's office building. _Alex is back and she hasn't tried to contact me. Alex…_Before she knew it, Olivia was wandering around the city. Well, wandering wasn't the correct term. Subconsciously walking directly to Alex's old apartment was more like it.

Olivia's phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts as she stood staring at Alex's old building for who knows how long.

"Benson," Olivia automatically answered.

"Liv…look I didn't mean," Casey started explaining, but was met with a click and then silence. Casey looked at her phone to confirm what she already knew. Olivia hung up on her.

Casey didn't know what else to do, so she called the one person she knew could get Olivia talking. Casey picked up the office phone on her desk and dialed the front desk. "Yes, I need to get a hold of ADA Cabot…No?…How about just Alexandra Cabot?…Bureau Chief?.. Yeah Bureau Chief Cabot…"

Olivia spent the rest of the day, at the park by Alex's old apartment. They used to go there and just walk around, holding hands and talking, before Alex got taken away. _But now she's back and hasn't at least picked up the phone to call and say 'Hey I'm back in the city'?_ Olivia shook her head and continued walking around the park thinking. _Alex wouldn't just come back and not say anything. Would she?_

Olivia was starting to rethink how well she knew Alex. She thought she knew Alex like the back of her hand, but somehow the back of her hand was starting to seem so foreign.

It was starting to get dark and with the sun gone it was starting to get cold. Olivia decided it was time to go home before she collapsed on the sidewalk from exhaustion and froze to death. She decided she had to be alive to check on Elliot in the morning.

Olivia hailed a cab and watched the elegant old building that Alex used to live in disappear in the background. _How could she not call?_

The whole way back to her apartment Olivia obsessed about the lack of communication from Alex. When the cab stopped, Olivia paid the driver and walked silently inside, the only thoughts in her head were thoughts of Alex.

Olivia sighed and trotted up the stairs to her floor, trying to shake the thoughts of Alex out of her head. When she stepped foot in her hallway, there was a person standing in front of her door. The shadowy figure was leaning against the wall, not illuminated like it should be because of the burnt out light bulb in the hallway Olivia's been bugging the landlord about for almost a month now.

Olivia drew her gun and pointed it at the intruder. "Let me see your hands."

"Are you seriously going to shoot me?" a very familiar, amused voice asked.

Without thinking, Olivia pulled out her flashlight and shined it on the shadowy figure revealing who Olivia already knew it was. The icy blue eyes squinted in the sudden bright light and the long blonde hair swirled with the sudden turn of her head to shield her eyes.

"Jesus Liv," Alex blocked the light with her hand, "Can you please turn that off?"

Olivia clicked off the flashlight and stood still, "What are you doing here?"

"Casey called me," Alex stated in a soft, soothing voice, "I came to explain."

* * *

As it turns out, I have a thousand and one was to bring Alex back. And I can't stop them from writing themselves. This is just one. 


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia fished for her keys in her pocket and unlocked her apartment door, "Why don't you come in so we don't freeze to death out here?"

Alex nodded and followed Olivia into her apartment. Olivia flipped on the light and looked at Alex fully. She was dressed casually in jeans, a sweater, coat, scarf, and boots. Her eyes drifted up to Alex's face. Her cheeks were slightly pink from the cold of the unheated hallway.

"How long have you been out there?" Olivia asked taking Alex's coat, careful not to touch her because the slightest touch might make her disappear.

Alex shrugged, "A few hours."

Olivia just looked at Alex. She looked just like Olivia remembered. It was just like Alex never left. Except that she did and when she got back she didn't call. Which brought Olivia back to the present. But in front of her was not someone she could ever be mad at for very long, especially when she was shivering like that and trying to make it look like she wasn't.

"Go sit on the couch and I'll make some tea," Olivia instinctively brought her hands up and rubbed Alex's upper arms.

Alex smiled slightly, "I'm fine."

Olivia dropped her hands, but on the way down one of her hands brushed against Alex's. Her hand immediately went back up to Alex's. "You're hands are freezing." She took Alex's other hand inside her own and tried to warm it up.

Alex chuckled, "Liv. I'm fine."

Olivia sighed and let out a small smile. "Okay. Have a seat and I'll be right out."

Alex nodded and obeyed while Olivia disappeared into her kitchen. Alex patiently sat, looking around at the apartment that had almost not changed at all. There was a picture on the end table, where Olivia used to throw her keys after a long day. Alex reached over and picked up the picture to look at her own face. Alex, for the life of her, couldn't remember when the picture had been taken, but she remembered that day. Olivia had taken her ice skating. Alex woke up with a lot of bruises the next morning, but she couldn't remember ever laughing that much.

Alex set the picture down as Olivia walked back in with two mugs of tea. Olivia handed one to Alex and sat down.

Alex wrapped her hands around the mug, letting the heat warm her hands. He looked Olivia up and down. For the most part, the SVU detective hadn't changed. The only thing different was her long hair, swept back in a ponytail.

"So you came because Casey called you?" Olivia asked quietly.

Alex rested the mug and her hands in her lap. She nodded, "Yeah. I also came to explain why you haven't heard from me in the six months I've been back." Alex paused looking at Olivia to make sure she was still listening. "When I got back, the first place I went was here. When you didn't answer your door, I waited until the next morning and went to the 1-6. But the only person I was greeted by was some blonde with stringy hair and a bad attitude."

"Dani Beck?" Olivia asked, her distain for the Warrant Detective growing upon hearing she was rude to Alex.

Alex nodded, "I believe that was her name. Anyway, I ask her where you are and she tells me that you're off with the Feds somewhere doing something. Then I asked her when you were coming back." Alex paused, "She told me you were never coming back. So I walked out of the precinct and never looked back. I wondered why you'd leave and not leave me something to let me know where you went, but then I realized it might have been how you felt when I left. Then I felt guilty for leaving you how I did and it hurt me to think that I might have hurt you like that. I sulked for about a month, nearly marrying a man I have no interest in before decided that I had to find you and make things right. To tell you that I was sorry for leaving and sorry for letting everything get that far. So I could tell you I loved you and know that you knew that I did." Alex took a deep breath, "I've called every FBI agent I could think of trying to find you and I've looked for any legitimate reason to subpoena anyone to get your personnel file and find out where you were."

"You've been looking for me?" Olivia asked, "All this time?"

Alex bashfully looked down at her mug, "I know it's stupid now that I know you were back at SVU…"

"No," Olivia stopped her, "That's…I can't believe you did that. Just to find me?"

Alex slowly nodded, looking up at Olivia through the veil of her hair.

"That's so sweet," Olivia breathed.

Alex raised an eyebrow, "How many hours have you been awake?"

Olivia smiled and took Alex's mug and set it on the coffee table. She tentatively picked up Alex's hands that were still cold. She tried to warm them up as best she could. "I'm fine. I just wish…I wish you would have found me sooner."

"So I just came here to make sure you know that I love you and I'm so sorry for taking the Velez case so far I had to leave you," Alex nodded and stood, "With that I'll leave you to enjoy the rest of your evening."  
Olivia kept hold of Alex's hands and stood with her, "Wait. Do you have anywhere important to go?"

Alex shook her head, "I cleared out the second half of my day after Casey called me. I was actually going to go see Elliot."

"Why don't you let me drive you?" Olivia asked, "And then let me take you to dinner."

Alex beamed, "On two conditions."

"Name it," Olivia replied picked up Alex's coat off of the coat rack and helped her put it on.

"You can drive, but we take my car," Alex stated and helped Olivia put her coat on, "And you can take me to dinner, but I pay."

"I veto you paying for dinner," Olivia smiled and opened the door for Alex.

"Well, I veto your veto," Alex smirked.

Olivia was amazed at how much time had passed since she'd seen Alex, but when they were together it was like she never left.

**Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand  
Love letters in the sand - I remember you  
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day  
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you**

* * *

Words in bold are lyrics from I Remember You - Skid Row 


	3. Chapter 3

As they walked down the stairs Alex took out her keys and handed them to Olivia. Olivia looked at the key and ran her thumb over the logo on the boxy looking thing attached to the key ring, "BMW?"

Alex shrugged, "I made a lot of money in Witness Protection. Apparently, corporate lawyers make a lot more money that anyone who works at the DA's office."

"What's with all the buttons?" Olivia asked.

Alex opened the front door for Olivia and they stepped out onto the street. Olivia immediately spotted the luxury car that definitely didn't belong at her building. It was a charcoal gray M6 convertible. Beautiful and classy on the outside, plush and soft on the inside. This was definitely the perfect car for Alex. It was exactly like her.

"Press the one that has a picture of the car on it," Alex instructed, "Then the one with the lock on it."

Olivia did what she was told and the car started before they got there.

Alex opened the door passenger door and got in.

"Nice," Olivia smiled and slid into the driver's seat.

Alex smiled back, "It makes for quick getaways."

"And an easy steal," Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"GPS tracking makes an easy recovery," Alex replied.

Olivia ran her hands over the steering wheel and then looked at Alex. She smiled, "I missed you."

Alex beamed, "I missed you too."

Olivia picked up Alex's hand and kissed her knuckles.

When they got to the hospital, Alex looked up at it and took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked.

Alex nodded bravely and got out of the car.

Olivia took Alex's hand. She knew Alex wasn't really okay. This was the place where she almost got attacked by an angry mother who blamed Alex for her son's brain damage. In fact, Alex still blamed herself for it too. This was also the place where she was brought after being shot. She woke up in the emergency room. This is where they told her that she was better off dead. That she'd have to leave her family, her life, and her Olivia.

"You don't have to go in," Olivia assured Alex as they stood at the back of the car.

Alex nodded, "I'm going."

Olivia led Alex into the hospital and up to Elliot's room where he was sitting up and talking with his wife.

Olivia smiled and knocked on the doorframe, "Hey."

"Hey Liv," Elliot smiled. He squinted, "Is that who I think it is?"

"Hi Elliot," Alex quietly spoke.

"Well hot damn," Elliot's smile grew wider, "Look who's back."

Alex was relieved by the smile on Elliot's face. Olivia pulled Alex over to his bedside and hugged Elliot. Then Alex gave Elliot a brief hug.

Alex looked at Kathy, "I don't believe we ever met. I'm Alex Cabot."

"Nice to meet you," Kathy smiled, "I'm Kathy."

"Are you always so cordial with your introductions?" Elliot asked.

Alex chuckled, "Only now that I get to say my own name again."

Elliot laughed, "How long have you been back?"

Alex bit her lip and answered, "A few months."

"A few months?" Elliot asked surprised, looking right at Alex.

"It seems your interim partner lied to Alex, making her think I permanently transferred to the feds," Olivia explained for Alex.

Alex took over, "I felt guilty for leaving all of you, especially Liv." Alex glanced at Olivia before continuing, "So I sulked around for a while. Casey called me today after she and Olivia had a fight. Casey filled me in where Detective Beck had deceived me."

Elliot studied Alex for a minute before nodding, "Okay. Are you going to hanging around more often now?"

Alex nodded, "I think so."

"What are you doing now?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked to Alex for the answer also.

"I'm a Bureau Chief for the Manhattan DA's office," Alex replied.

Elliot smirked, "Wow. Too good for us lowly detectives?"

Alex smiled and shook her head, "Never. I just get to be more picky about the cases that I personally try and have the authority to tell the ADAs under me what to do and how to do it."

"So you get to be bossy and talk a lot?" Olivia asked with a smile.

Elliot chuckled, "Sounds like the perfect job for you."

Alex rolled her eyes, "Ha ha."

There was a knock on the door and a man with a white lab coat stepped him. "Hello Detective Benson."

"Hi," Olivia nodded to the doctor.

The doctor looked at Elliot, "I'm just here for a check up."

"Uh…we're gonna go," Olivia told Elliot and Kathy, "I'll be by in the morning."

"Have fun," Elliot waved to them.

"Bye Elliot," Alex smiled, then looked at Kathy, "It was nice to have met you."

"You too," Kathy added as the two women walked out the door.

"How does going back to my apartment and ordering in sound?" Olivia asked Alex when they got to Alex's car.

"It sounds like a plan," Alex smiled.

Olivia offered her the keys and Alex waved them away. "Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

Alex nodded, "I can see how much you enjoy driving it."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled.

Olivia turned around to get into the car, but Alex grabbed her arm and spun her back around. "You're not…seeing anyone are you?"

Olivia slid her hands around Alex's waist and pressed her palms onto the small of Alex's back, pulling their bodies together. Olivia paused a few centimeters from Alex's lips, giving her a chance to pull away. She could feel Alex's breath quicken, but instead of pulling away, Alex timidly pressed her lips against Olivia's.

Alex smiled when they broke the kiss, "If you're going to kiss me every time I ask a question, I think I have a lot of things to ask you."

Olivia laughed and kissed Alex again.

Almost an hour later, they found themselves, seated in front of Olivia's coffee table eating Thai takeout. Olivia had her arm around Alex's shoulders. Alex laid her head on Olivia's shoulder, "You have no idea how much I missed this."

"About as much as I missed it," Olivia added.

Alex paused, "I hope I'm not totally overstepping any boundaries, but…can I stay the night with you? I just…I don't…"

Olivia smiled, "I don't want you to leave either."

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's stomach, "I feel like I'm asking a lot of you right now."

"You're not," Olivia added kissing the top of Alex's head.

"But I feel like it," Alex replied.

"How can I make you feel like you're not?" Olivia asked sweetly.

"Uh," Alex paused, "Ask something of me?"

"Kiss me again," Olivia looked down at Alex.

Alex smiled and obliged.

Olivia was breathless when Alex pulled away, "Come to bed with me."

Alex quickly stood up and led the way to Olivia's bedroom. Olivia was quick to follow. Alex stood with the back of her legs touching the bed. Everything came back to her in a whirl of memories. Where Olivia liked to be touch, where she liked to be kissed, the noises she made when she wanted more, and all the little things Alex used to do to excite her.

The kisses were no longer tentative. They were passionate and hungry. Hands started to roam and clothes started to fall to the floor. Alex turned Olivia around and pushed her onto her back.

Alex kissed down Olivia's arm, from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers and back again, remembering warm skin that was becoming familiar again. She kissed a trail around the fabric of Olivia's bra, eliciting a moan from the detective.

Alex moved down Olivia's toned middle flicking her tongue into Olivia's belly button, then nibbling at the skin around it. She felt the muscles under her teeth tense and smiled against the skin.

"Alex.." Olivia moaned.

Alex looked up at Olivia and smirked. She crawled up Olivia's body and placed her thigh between Olivia's legs. Alex ran her teeth across Olivia's neck, then whispered in her ear, "Was there something you wanted?"

Olivia remembered how much Alex liked to play games and how much it could drive her crazy. Olivia closed her eyes and focused on every touch and every kiss, never wanting to forget the intense sensations only Alex had ever been able to give her.

Olivia had one last fleeting thought before losing herself in Alex. _Alex is back._


End file.
